Heavy Petting

Can we talk about Animal Porn – we can? Recently I was thinking about the morality of a society that condemns this and yet finds it semi acceptable to stuff a duck’s liver with fat until the bird can barely walk, and thinks it’s ok to keep baby calves from the sight of a field before slaughtering them.

To put it in some kind of context; what is the worse thing that can happen to Ricky the family’s Rhodesian Ridgeback following some heavy petting? Maybe it gets confused about it’s place within the pack – starts putting away the shopping and wondering why no one will let it drive on the school run. As for the women, I imagine that shagging a Shire horse that’s hung like a donkey is something that, whilst not for everyone, is nonetheless something one might get drawn towards if the money, and the horse’s personal hygiene are right. So, the next time you’re eating meat you might want to lie back and consider the context. 

Anyway, in other news Various Artist attended Summer Camp at Eastside Projects and this Friday is hoping to attend an all night writing session at Grand Union - so lots of black coffee then. Also my drumming debut at DoL has been put back a week to the 8th, before which I will have had my fifty second birthday. Good, sort of. 

Currently down at Darling #1's and tomorrow the Wood clan will meet to bury John's ashes (you might remember my writing about his death in a post from a couple of months ago). Whilst this will be a sombre occassion there will no doubt be beers of laughter in the pub following the service. Hope so. 

Right, that's it. it is 5.46 and I need to go watch a documentary on the German band Can - they were/are awesome. 

Sketch #1

Does anyone agree with me that it would be helpful if the armies of the nations of the World wore more distinctive uniforms, like our football teams? Few if any incorporate stripes, let alone hoops and they need an away kit for when they are invading someone else’s country and the two strips clash. Get Nike involved, get a swoosh on those desert boots, and get Addidas to design the UN’s kit. And have advertising on the jackets - they already have the soldiers names in small text on the front, put 'em on the back in bold where the TV audience can see them. Get them in the stores, replica uniforms in kid sizes – support your favourite soldier. Be useful in films too, where every shaven headed killing machine looks pretty much the same as another. I watched Thin Red Line recently and I couldn't tell a Corporate right from a Private wrong. Get some serious sponsorship deals in place too, that way pensions could be guaranteed and we could go back to having bigger armies which would mean better wars, but with their own kit sponsored by, well if you want irony on a World scale then Coke adds life or perhaps the more homely 'we're the Marines and we're lovin' it'.

Road Trip

Somewhere over Northern Spain

Back off holiday – had good time. But very hot, too hot perhaps? And too many insects, too many bitey insects? - but very cheap food and beer, and stunning scenery. Got the Poole – Cherbourg express, a bit like Watford Gap on water; drove down through France, playing ‘name that smell’ with Darling #1, hooked up with the Greens in Chartres, pulled mussels from a shell in Toulouse and cut a dash through the Pyrenees and down into Catalunya, before fetching up outside Calaida in pretty Camarasa.

We enjoyed terrace life, pond life and lite nite life over the course of two weeks – but now I’m back, as pale and interesting as the day I left. TBH I’m not going to add much more to this since you’ve probably been following my adventures via the magic of facebook and there is little point in repeating them here.

Phonetic Phlaagpole 

Art wise; Phonetic Phlaagpole at Supernormal came off, unlike POT at Kassel (some kind of argument I believe that led to the cancelling of all residencies) so kicking my heels a bit, although there is Summer Camp at Eastside Projects next Tuesday followed by my first drumming gig with John Robinson at DoL the following Saturday. It's always busier than one thinks, is it not? 

Lovely Stuff.

Simply cannot believe how bad I have become at blogging, no posts in June and I believe just the two in May. Not good enough.

So, a quick update; Nathaniel and myself went to D’dorf to collect ingredients for Finding Kling Klang. During trip we fetched up in Kassel, home to the Brothers Grimm and the art show dOCUMENTA13, which was good. Back home I have taken advantage of different settings on drum kit to start composing noises for FKK.

Talking of fairy tales, the Red Nile project had a happy ending with a show for the winners (in the best traditions of fairness this meant everyone) and the following morning (Sunday) a trip up to Stoke on Trent with the mobile billboard for more photos.

Phonetic Phlaag made it to Art Vilnius as part of Nathaniel’s yearly artfairfest and mention of flags reminds me that Supernormal would like to take it to Brazzier’s Park in August so, happy days. 

Last weekend myself and Darling #1 attended Frome Open Studios where we ended up at Ellen Folley and John M. Robinson's joint show. Lovely work, lovely food and lovely jazzy type music to listen to too. And we got to steal one of John's small works! 

Lovely stuff.... 

Untitled.

Right, first up is the news that Working Men’s Klub are off to Dusseldorf to find Kraftwerk’s Kling Klang. Eastside Projects have kindly given us a small token of encouragement which we have promised not to fritter away on Wheat beer and pretzels. There is a Twitter account although I have no idea how you access it.

Also had very productive 'surgery' there with Liz Rowe which has led to a bit of an overhaul of the www. variousartistisdead.org. Go there if you've not already.

Second up is that Supernormal festival have accepted my proposal for a flagpole flying the legend that is Ing-Er-Land. However they have yet to reply to my email informing them that I will need to dig a hole and fill it with cement; otherwise the pole will fall over the moment some festival crackhead leans on it to get his bearings.

Third up; Herefordshire’s Downstairs Gallery haven’t dismissed out of hand my proposal for flying the legend that is the Ing-Er-Land flag from an upstairs window during the Euro’s/Olympix. The reason being that the Union Flag always seems to be most prominent in more run down estates; put it this way, you never see one hanging from a window at Windsor. Anyway, they are going to think about it and get back to me.

And fourthly; Rednile/Stoke on Trent – finally got together with Chris (with whom I am collaborating) in Worcester. We agreed on an idea/concept and Chris returned to the Potteries with a mission to get some chums kitted out in 70’s clobber and photo’d by a Modernistic looking bus stop.  Stay posted.

Ok, enough for now. Here’s a photo of Nat + Angela + Jenny at the races. 

Diner, Pay Later!

I recently ate breakfast at an American styled diner. The food was merely warm, took ages to arrive but the coffee was warm and plentiful. The sound was wall to wall utopian rock ‘n’ roll with Watergate, ‘Naam, the Bay of Pigs and Jackson’s Moonwalk – or a real Moon walk still years away. This is the only time a Cliff Richard record has come as light relief. The company however was good – Darling Number 1 and the Pitt family making up the dining party. Anyway, done it, one particular itch I no longer have a need to scratch.

I had the vegetarian option. When I say the vegetarian option I mean just that, there was just the one. I can’t remember what Darling #1 ate but I do recall that Mrs Pitt ate sausages and the elder of the two miniatures had pancakes, which we all tried a morsel of. They weren’t very nice to be honest, bit neither here nor there, maybe if I’d managed to cadge a bit of the ice cream that might have been nice.

The more quick witted amongst you will point out that pancakes are also a veggie option. I counter that with, yes, but it’s a veggie full English or nothing at all. But then this is food from the other side of the pond, with a Utopian soundtrack to match, whilst we live in dystopian world of E numbers and fats that saturate.  

Please note that at the American diner you do not get free refills of tea, only coffee. We only discovered this when we asked for the reality check.

(Scot is away) 

Death + Cake

Sadly, death has been in the air this week. On Wednesday went to the funeral of John Wood, Darling #1’s Step Dad. Nice service; not too long, quality readings, hymns you could sing along to and a nice cuppa afterwards. Someone quipped that it looks ‘less like a coffee morning and more like a coffin mourning’ and it was indeed a very thoughtful spread involving cake, jelly babies and some quality sandwiches.

Members of the Wood clan face the cameras

It was the next evening back in the Wu and I mentioned to Nathaniel about the service and what an interesting and incident packed life the late Mr Wood had lived and how un heroic today’s artists lives appear by comparison. We both agreed that some adventures were the order of the day so that come THAT day our relevent Rev's would have something upon which to spin a tale. We had a couple of shandies and hurried home shortly after 9 p.m.

I was also saddened yesterday to learn of the passing of Levon Helm, drummer/singer/mandolinist with The Band. Went to bed and watched the Last Waltz, Martin Scorcese’s terrific film of their farewell concert from (I think) 1978 and what struck me again was how little of the great Richard Manuel there is in it, likewise Garth Hudson and how much of Robbie Robertson there is. Scorcese must have coached him although Levon had the last laugh by being the more successful actor. The other thing that got me was how little their bassist Rick Danko looked at what his fingers were doing, instead always peering along the line, quizzically in the case of Neil Diamond, appreciatively in the case of everyone else.

Check out this noisey bad boy!

Finally I just got down and dusted off an ancient ‘ghetto blaster’ that was William Minton - my late uncles way back in the 70’s. I found a lead and plugged it in wondering if it still worked – and what do you know, it was tuned into Mayo & Kermode's film review programme, the exact same radio programme that I was listening to on my regular stereo!